


in the end i am undone

by cthulu_sun



Series: aftg magic au [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-09-05 23:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20281981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cthulu_sun/pseuds/cthulu_sun
Summary: Once, when Riko was still young and growing, his father had taken him to the place where magic was born. He remembers that, now, when the leyline is speaking; the voice is that moment, when he felt the earth hum with energy and his magic grew wings and took flight."I have no home," Riko says, and it comes out a little more bitter than he intended."Why did you come?"And Riko talks. About the pain, the fear, the separation, the hunger. The vicious, desperate longing. A wandering in the veins.In this vacuum, this sucked-out hollow space, the leyline refuses. "Too dangerous. You will be undone."Ah, well. There are other ways to get what he wants.-Some magical events occurring to some very tired people, who aren't qualified to be trying to save the world but are doing it anyway, because if nothing else they all deserve to live in peace.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of a series, and I would recommend reading the one before this in order for things to make sense. I hope you enjoy reading!

The leyline is cold, tonight. Riko sits underneath the bridge, his back to the wall with his knees pulled up to his chest, watching the river as it wanders by. An eye painted on the underside of the bridge stares at him, blinking every so often. Some type of ward, most likely. An annoying precaution.

Riko used to be the best, at dismantling protective spells. Could do it quicker than anyone else. But now his magic's gone he has to find all the necessary materials and destroy them manually, which takes _ages. _How disappointing. 

The rain'll help, at least. He'd checked with one of the elementals here, for when it would rain, and chose tonight after a few days of deliberation. A good strong rain is one of the most potent neutralisers, after all.

He's been collecting rainwater for an hour, filling two bottles up with it, and that might be enough, if he's lucky. He can always get more; the rain's heavy, tonight. The kind of rain that sticks around. An elemental's rain, only he can't use it properly, now. (But he will, if this works. If it goes the way he needs it to).

A few years ago, Riko would have been able to crawl up to the eye, pour rainwater over it, say a few words, and that'd be the end of it. Maybe he'd have had Kevin with him, too, just in case. Riko misses Kevin like he misses the bones he used to bury on full moon nights. Misses the dirt under his fingernails and the burning heat on his tongue. 

But Kevin's gone, and while Riko firmly believes that he'll come crawling back one day, begging to be taken back, (and Riko is going to _enjoy _that day. Maybe tear up a body in celebration), for now he's on his own. 

Perched on top of the bridge, a crow watches him stumble to his feet, shuffling forwards until he's directly beneath the eye. The river hums, gurgles, surges backwards as the leyline pulses. Riko listens.

In the distance a clock chimes. The ground shivers, a little. Riko opens the bag he's brought with him and takes out a jar of red ash, which he shakes gently before opening. He spreads the ash over the ground, copying the shape of the eye above, and when he's finished it lights up blue, reflecting the magic of the ward.

There's a tiny box of powder, in his bag. A gift from Kevin, once, and at the time he'd wanted to crush the box into dust beneath his heel, the way he'd had the urge to do the same to Kevin the first time they fought, but his excitement at what the powder could do had stopped him. (Kevin still has his uses, even now).

The powder dissolves easily into the rainwater when Riko mixes them together, and he crouches, holding the bottle over his ash eye. Slowly the water trickles out, into the centre of the eye, and he pushes it further over the ash with his hands. Looking up, he can see the eye on the bridge starting to fade. 

In response the leyline pulses, again. Drags the river with it, even as Riko takes off his shoes and socks, preparing to wade into the water. He takes two iron poles with him, and a large bag of dragon scales. It had taken him years to collect this many, but with dragon hunting on the rise their scales are easier to find, now. Between his teeth is an oak leaf, taken from Andrew Minyard's coveted garden.

(It's an eye for an eye, Riko figures. Andrew Minyard, arguably the best plant witch in recent magical history, had stolen Kevin, so when the opportunity arises Riko steals from him. Not enough to be noticed, yet, but it's the principle of the thing. And, of course, Riko deserves to have the best materials at his disposal).

The two poles he stands upright in the water, and he ties a piece of string to each of them, so it hangs in between. The leyline opens wide, a gaping slit in the river, and Riko tosses the dragon scales inside. He speaks, in the tongue of elementals (and at least he hasn't lost that, yet), and the leyline listens. 

Through his speech the oak leaf falls, landing inside the leyline. Around him the water sinks, curling away from his magic, and the world is silent, for a moment. All sound sucked out of it. In the stillness, the leyline shudders. And a voice, a voice that is the river and the earth and the bones beneath his skin and everything in between, echoes around the darkness. 

_You are a long way from home_, the leyline remarks.

Once, when Riko was still young and growing, his father had taken him to the place where magic was born. He remembers that, now, when the leyline is speaking; the voice is that moment, when he felt the earth hum with energy and his magic grew wings and took flight.

"I have no home," Riko says, and it comes out a little more bitter than he intended.

_Why did you come? _

And Riko talks. About the pain, the fear, the separation, the hunger. The vicious, desperate longing. A wandering in the veins.

In this vacuum, this sucked-out hollow space, the leyline refuses. _Too dangerous. You will be undone._

Ah, well. There are other ways to get what he wants. 

The plant he takes from his pocket and tears up in front of the leyline is another souvenir from Andrew Minyard's garden, only this one is infinitely more dangerous and its absence will almost certainly be noticed. But it's a good thing he thought of it.

At the sight of it the leyline shudders, switching the course of the river, and _this _is what Riko misses the most. Complete and utter power. Terror and submission.

(Because for this he only needs the plant and his tongue, and the leyline can't put up a defence. The power it gives him is exhilerating).

And as soon as he starts saying the words with the shredded plant grasped tightly in his fists he can feel the change. A shift in the air. The leyline shrieks, the same sound as metal scraping against polished wood, and the water spins. For a moment, the world is lit up in green, and Riko smiles.

_Who are you, elemental? _The leyline asks. At any other time it'd be a stab in the gut.

"Me?" Riko's smile widens, all sharp teeth and nothing else. "I'm the King, of course." 

-

Andrew wakes up to a tree spirit urgently shaking him, acorns spilling from her teeth. She's not strong enough to actually move him, but his magic must have felt her trying. Next to him Neil shifts, almost getting her foot in his face, but Andrew grabs her and pulls her up towards him.

"What's the problem," he asks, yawning halfway through. If she wanted a functional human being she should've woken him up later in the morning.

_My leaves are missing_, she says, starting to tear up, and he pats her head gently. 

"I'll help you grow them back."

_Now?_

She wriggles in his grasp, excited. Andrew sighs, but drops her and rolls over to step out of bed, dragging the duvet with him. This disturbs Neil, who blinks sleepily at Andrew, looking like an indignant, ruffled bird. Andrew hates him. (Not really; he's been trying to work on this impulse with his new therapist, but it's taking a while. She's not Bee, after all).

"Andrew?" Neil asks softly, one hand stretched out towards him. It's remarkable, how quickly he switches from anger to concern.

In response Andrew takes his hand, and leans over to kiss Neil on the forehead. "Magic thing," he explains.

Neil nods. Interlaces his fingers with Andrew's and squeezes gently, a silent reassurance. Closes his eyes.

"Don't fall asleep while you're holding my hand," Andrew complains, pinching his wrist. "Remember last time?" 

A small huff of laughter. Neil relinquishes his grip on Andrew's hand and lets him move away from the quiet solitude of their bedroom.

"Be safe," he murmurs, as Andrew and the tree spirit leave, shutting the door behind them. 

He makes his way downstairs slowly, the tree spirit hanging from his outstretched arm. Once in the kitchen he sets her down on the counter while he feeds the cats, currently shrieking at his feet. At times like this he blames Neil entirely for being the one to suggest getting a pet, and then showing up with two cats the moment Andrew tentatively agreed.

He leaves a cup of coffee on the counter for Neil, pressing his magic into the spell written on the bottom so it'll stay warm for a little while, at least. The tree spirit almost falls straight into it, but Andrew manages to catch her at the last second. 

"Pay more attention to your surroundings."

The tree spirit whines, voice like wind chimes, but doesn't complain when Andrew picks her up and keeps her in his hands as they head for the garden.

Outside, the plants are restless. Most of them are awake and shouting for his attention, or shouting at eachother, like the roses and the blossom trees. Andrew hushes them as the tree spirit directs him past, and while he walks everything reaches towards him, looking for comfort. For reassurance. 

_Someone was here_, the oak tree says, when he and the tree spirit find her.

It echoes in whispers all through the garden, and Andrew doesn't understand. He has wards, and none of them are broken; it doesn't make sense for someone to go to the trouble of masking their presence to take oak leaves.

_Someone was here._

"Who?" Andrew asks, placing his hand at the centre of the tree trunk. The tree spirit copies him, tiny hands warm over his own. Blue magic circles the tree's branches. 

_Kevin but different. Don't know. Your apple tree's seen him before. _

Leaves unfurl into existence, and the oak tree hums. The tree spirit laughs, bright and giddy, and climbs up the tree, hands slipping inside of it every so often. She's not paying attention. (Andrew's blood runs cold).

"I thought he was dead."

_Not quite. _The tree's branches shake themselves out. _Thank you. _

"Did he take anything else?"

_A peace lily. _

That's a lot more than just some oak leaves, even for someone without magic. Peace lilies can be used for many things, but the main one is dangerous enough to be illegal, and if Andrew's right about his apparent thief then this is a problem. It's unusual for the other lilies to be so silent, too. The thief probably forced them to keep quiet.

Riko Moriyama is supppsed to be dead. The accident should have killed him; the only reason Kevin survived is because of Aaron, but it's conceivable that there was a necromancer, at Evermore. Or a negotiator. They're pretty rare, though. It's unlikely. 

Andrew leaves the oak tree to heal with her spirit, and follows the strange emptiness in his magic until he reaches the lilies. A red chain flickers round their stems, a visible stamp left by the thief. A deliberate insult. 

The chain breaks the moment he touches it, a pathetic attempt at intimidation. Instantly the lilies are shouting in indignant rage, either at him or the thief, he can't tell. One of the blossom trees loyally joins in, and altogether the garden's getting louder, too loud, and Andrew is adrift in the sound, lost in the crying and the anger and -

a hand on his shoulder. He breathes. Waits. (He hadn't even heard footsteps).

"Hey," Neil says softly. "Everything okay?" 

Andrew turns and presses his face into Neil's shoulder. "No," he admits, scratched and raw. 

He misses the comfort of Bee's house, the easy familiarity of his garden there. He misses the days when he could kill a threat and they'd just be gone.

"Where can I touch?" Neil asks. 

Andrew thinks. "Anywhere covered," he says, and a pair of arms circle around him.

Somehow Neil knows exactly what to do even when he doesn't know what's going on. Andrew hates - no. Andrew likes that about him. (Look, Bee, it's working).

"Thanks for the coffee, by the way."

There's a tiredness in his bones. "It's for me," Andrew says. "Don't even think about it."

"Oh, is that right? I already drank it, whoops."

Sometimes Andrew can't stop himself lying. It's a hard habit to break. Neil can always see through him, though. 

The plants are quiet, now. Andrew focuses on the weight of Neil's hands on his back, feels the heat soak into his skin. Brushes his fingers against one of the lilies, and sends as much comfort as he can.

"You coming in?" Neil asks. He sounds like wind. "I'll make breakfast." 

Andrew nods, but doesn't move. He's safe, and warm, and he'll get uncomfortable soon but for now this is nice. Good. Unfortunately, Neil pulls away and pushes him back down the path towards the house, laughing lightly.

"You like me too much to let me go, hm?'

"Don't flatter yourself."

Once inside, Andrew makes a cup of coffee for himself and sits on the counter warming his hands, watching Neil cook breakfast. Like this, the whole word seems confined to the space between them. Andrew wonders, on bad days, if these moments where time slips away from them and hangs suspended above their little house are a good thing after all.

Doesn't it hurt, to have so much to lose? Doesn't this peel his skin away from his bones and leave them bare and broken?

_It's okay to love differently_, he remembers Bee saying once. _Different doesn't mean bad. _

So maybe Andrew's allowed, to quietly enjoy exploring the ways two people can love eachother. To relax in moments like this. Except he can't, because Riko is still alive, somehow, and nobody knows, and how did they all miss something this important and

panicking won't help. To stop himself spiralling, he makes a mental list: eat, tell Neil, talk to Kevin, see if Renee knows anything.

(But if she does and just hasn't said anything, he might kill her).

Neil pushes a plate into his hands, pancakes swimming in syrup, and sits next to Andrew on the counter, swinging his legs. 

"Thanks, Neil, you're the best," Neil says, and there's a lift to his lips. A tiny smile. "The love of my life, my light in the darkness -"

Andrew shoves him, and he wobbles dangerously before regaining his balance. "Shut up."

Neil laughs, and the sound of it warms Andrew's insides. The ivy crawls over to the kitchen window, basking in the contentment seeping into his magic. The singing of the trees swells, chasing the tight curled-up ball of emotion in Andrew's chest. He's never been able to hide from the earth. 

They eat in silence, he and Neil, soft and easy. Andrew is reluctant to break it, if only because there's something about spending quiet mornings with Neil that's too precious to lose, and this morning hasn't even really started properly, not yet. Still, it's necessary.

"We had a visitor, last night," Andrew says, because he doesn't know how to start this conversation. Neil raises an eyebrow.

"Who?"

"Riko Moriyama."

The plate drops from Neil's hands and clatters to the floor. The trees are quiet, and there's a shaking in the earth. Rain is coming.

"He's dead."

(Cold and harsh and dangerous).

"Apparently not."

Andrew slides off the counter, puts his plate in the sink, and cleans up the remnants of Neil's. The basil on the windowsill waves at him. He waves back. Neil presses his fingers to his cheek, where the scar is, and lets out a shaky sigh.

"Does Kevin know?"

In the garden spirits are humming. Andrew places a hand at the back of Neil's neck, and lets it rest there. An anchor.

"He would tell me," Andrew says. He's certain of that, at least. If Kevin had any belief that Riko was alive, Andrew would know, because Kevin couldn't keep something like that a secret.

He blinks and the world flashes blue. A message writes itself into the kitchen table, letters slightly crooked and glowing with blue light. The magic tastes like Renee's, and Andrew hurries forward to read the words before they can disappear.

_We have a problem_, the message says. And then, _get to Andrew's shop as soon as possible. _

A call for everyone, it seems. How weird. (And annoying; it's Andrew's day off today, what the fuck).

Neil leans over his shoulder to see the message, wrapping his arms around Andrew's waist. "Guess we'd better get the chalk out, then."

The only good thing about this is that Andrew still remembers what the circle should look like. They don't have a permanent one because Neil likes walking, or running, and had argued against having a circle burned into the floor so much that in the end Andrew had decided it wasn't worth it.

Finding the chalk is difficult, since both of them tend to just throw it in a drawer and forget about it, but while Andrew's clearing a space on the kitchen floor Neil dutifully searches the usual drawers, eventually handing him a stubby little thing that'll do the job but looks a touch away from breaking.

"Steal Seth's chalk when we see him," Andrew says. They need more and Seth always has too much, anyway.

So Andrew kneels on the floor, chalk in hand, and writes. The circle is mostly made up of movement symbols, with a few random squiggles thrown in so that people don't end up in Andrew's shop by accident. 

When Andrew stands in the middle of the circle, surrounded by rapidly growing plants, Neil grabs onto his hand, and the world tilts, for a moment. Slides out of focus. Andrew focuses. Breathes. Pushes magic into the plants crawling up through the floor, and the circle glows blue. Almost there.

This is the part he hates the most: in the in-between, he is unmade. His body splits open at the seams, and he is filled with shimmering blue threads, stretching out over the dark emptiness. The in-between is cold. Neil's hand is warm. 

And then he is reassembled in a dusty storage room, hand gripping Neil's way too tight, almost tripping over someone else as they emerge from the circle.

"Hi, guys!" Nicky calls, from his perch on a stack of boxes. Neil waves.

Looking around, the room's pretty full. "Are we the last here?" Andrew asks.

"Nope! Just waiting on Aaron," Allison says, from behind him.

Andrew does his best to suppress the urge to leap into the air, but Renee giggles from her seat on the floor. "He might be late," she adds, and that has Andrew's alarm bells ringing.

"Why?" His voice is flat. Magic coils round his fingertips.

If Renee's seen something about Aaron and neglected to tell him _again_, Andrew will infuse her tea with hemlock. He hates being left in the dark, especially when Aaron's involved, and Renee knows this. Renee should know this.

"That's actually part of what I wanted to talk to you all about."

Next to him, Neil sighs. "Cut the suspense shit, okay? Andrew's stressed enough already."

In retaliation, Andrew pokes him in the chest, the part that makes him squirm. "Can you not."

Neil just smiles at him, and to avoid the tightness in his lungs Andrew moves to sit next to Renee. All conversation lulls, attention entirely on her as she prepares to speak.

"For fuck's sake, hurry up," Seth complains, and Allison slaps him.

"As I'm sure some of you noticed, there was an unexpected magical surge at the leyline last night. I called you here because I had two visions during it."

That can't be good. Multiple visions so close together is rare, and normally they'd act as a warning; although Riko getting his hands on a peace lily and activity around the leyline happening in the same night is probably not a coincidence. Andrew hates this.

"The first vision I had was of Riko Moriyama," Renee continues, and chaos ensues. Surprisingly, Kevin doesn't react at all, which means Renee must have told him first. Andrew discreetly reaches out to pinch Kevin's thigh, a silent question,

_how long have you known?_

and Kevin glares at him, indifferent. They'll talk about it later.

In the commotion the light disappears, plunging the room into darkness. Somebody screams, magic seeping into the air, and the world shifts. Andrew reaches for Neil's bag, then realises it isn't here, then smiles when the room lightens anyway, a ball of fire nestled in Neil's palm. Looks like they had the same idea.

While he can see, Andrew keeps track of everyone else. Matt's on his feet, one hand on Kevin's shoulder and the other clenched in a fist at his side. Everyone is gathered around Kevin, checking that he's fine, that he's not going to make himself sick with fear.

Nicky's claws are out, as is Allison's sword; the reaction to Renee's news is expected, if a little violent. They've always been a rather violent bunch, Andrew supposes.

"Isn't he supposed to be dead?" Seth asks, because he's clearly forgotten that magic exists. Nicky shushes him, and Dan's the one to make the discovery out loud.

"_Fuck_, there was a necromancer."

"Or a negotiator," Andrew reminds her. A necromancer with that level of skill is virtually non-existent. Negotiators are slightly more common, as well as a lot more reliable.

The circle screeches loudly and starts spinning, filling the room with blue magic. An old sage plant stretches out from one of the shelves, reaching for Andrew's arm, and the room shakes beneath them. There's a quiet humming in his ears, metal on his tongue, and Andrew can feel _something _burst through the circle, something strange and yet familiar.

Allison's sword clanks as she sheathes it. The fire crackles happily, illuminating the tired, bandaged faces of Aaron and Katelyn. (Andrew's heart leaps into his throat. A twinge in his fingers, a crack in the bones. The leyline split open).

They stand in silence, for a moment. Nicky sniffs, eyes wide, and drags both Aaron and Katelyn towards the door. Andrew itches to go with him, but Nicky knows his way around and will likely be more comforting than Andrew's best attempts, eventhough Andrew has some concerning suspicions about what's going on.

Judging by the expressions of shock stamped across everyone's faces, they're all suspecting similar things.

Aaron, somehow, smells like magic. Not much, and not enough to really be an issue yet, but the scent is undeniable. Which means the peace lily worked, at least a bit, and will continue to work, since the leyline's apparently been messed with. (Andrew is so fucking tired of this. He should have abandoned magic when he'd had the chance).

Kevin is flickering. Glitching. Andrew grabs his arm, keeps him grounded. He'll become a ghost, if he's not careful. Although if Aaron's magic is returning, then there's a chance that Kevin's might, too, especially since he and Riko are linked.

But if he and Riko are linked, then -

Andrew pins Kevin to the wall, hand wrapped around his throat.

"Have you known this whole time."

Kevin looks at the floor, and promptly vanishes. Fuck.

"Well shit, the monster's scared him off," Allison says, writing a symbol on her wrist. Andrew can guess what it is, unfortunately.

"Don't be dumb, Minyard, how could Kevin have known anything? He'd have run to you the moment he found out," Seth adds.

Neil presses into his side, and Andrew _aches._ (If Kevin's betrayed his trust then he doesn't know what to do).

"They were linked," Neil explains. "Kevin and Riko."

And everyone looks angry now, and this is becoming such a fucking mess, and all Andrew wants to do is go home to Bee's little house, tucked up in her bed, sleeping soundly. He misses Bee like he misses his garden. The old, protective apple tree. The teasing ivy. The soft lavender.

The sage gently touches his arm. Andrew closes his eyes.

"So," Dan says. "I'm assuming this was the second vision you had."

Renee nods, a little shaky, a little lost. "Not quite," she answers. "But close." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Updates will be pretty slow as I am starting university next week, but hopefully I will be able to write fairly frequently


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short and late, uni hit me like a train  
I hope you enjoy the chapter!

There's a moment of tense, awkward silence. Andrew's skin itches, and all the plants in the room burst from their pots, spilling soil on the floor as they strain to reach him. To comfort him. A flower spirit climbs onto his shoulder, sticky pollen fingertips clinging to the fabric of his shirt.

Kevin's betrayed him. All of them really, keeping this kind of information to himself all this time, and the room spins around him. Bleeds. Neil curls a gentle hand round his wrist and tugs him down, down, so that he's kneeling in the dust, surrounded by concerned plants and their singing spirits. God, he's so tired.

_It's okay_, something says, in the quiet. The mess of voices means he's not sure which of his plants is speaking. _Kevin will come back._

And he hadn't even noticed the tightness in his chest, the undeniable fear that Kevin is _missing_, and though Allison immediately started to track him that might not be enough, and this is all his fault, really, because maybe if he wasn't the way he is Kevin wouldn't have felt the need to lie to him at all, and -

soothing magic nudges at his legs, dripping blue.

"Andrew," Renee says, calm, firm, and sounding far too much like Bee. "Find Nicky. We'll get Kevin."

Murmured agreements follow her words, and the storage room empties as people shuffle through the circle, heading for Kevin's usual haunts. Dan strokes the hair of the flower spirit on Andrew's shoulder, and Matt tucks a piece of lavender behind Andrew's ear as they both leave. They'll find him. They have to. (The alternative is too much to bear, right now).

When it's just the two of them left, Neil extinguishes his fire. In the dark he leads Andrew out of the storage room, still keeping hold of Andrew's wrist, and his magic tastes like roses, for a moment. Something sweet, to keep Andrew grounded.

Nicky is brewing something over a magical flame at the back of the shop, and Andrew smells the familiar scent of burning yarrow. Aaron's slumped in a chair, unwrapping his bandages. Katelyn already seems to have been treated, and stands at the sight of Andrew and Neil.

"Is everything alright?" She asks, biting her lip.

He hates her. Or; not exactly, but he's feeling_ something_, and it's cold and twisted and unpleasant, and Katelyn's worried expression isn't helping. Next to him, Neil shifts uncomfortably. Andrew's stomach clenches.

"Fine," Neil grunts eventually. She doesn't look convinced, because with Neil that's basically admitting that something's been fucked up somehow. Still, she doesn't press the issue, which Andrew is grateful for. 

Aaron stands, too, trailing bandages and dried blood behind him. Gross. But his hands are warm on Andrew's skin, and there's a strange comfort in his touch as he presses their palms together.

"Something happened with Kevin," he deduces. Andrew hates how transparent he feels around Aaron, because the person who knows him best is also the person to keep countless secrets from him as if they're still in high school, crunching eggshells beneath their feet.

(As if Bee hadn't worked her hardest to bring them closer).

Neil nods, and Aaron frowns. "Where is he?" 

Andrew's throat tightens, and he can't squeeze the words out. His magic flares in distress and Aaron flinches, snatching his hand away as if it'd been burned. That should be answer enough, but as perceptive as Aaron is he doesn't let the matter drop, asking again. 

In the resulting silence, Nicky slathers the healing mixture over Aaron's wounds and wraps them in bandages. His eyes glow red, for a second.

"Thanks," Katelyn says softly, because Aaron is frozen.

"No problem!" Nicky responds, wiping his hands on his trousers. He seems so cheerful that Andrew briefly wonders if he's even registered what Aaron's so concerned about, but he knows Nicky better than that. And at closer look, Nicky's claws are poking out, absently shredding a leaf between them.

It's this, more than anything, that has Andrew swallowing his pride. Nicky always tries too hard to be happy; he never lets himself worry openly. (And maybe six years ago, Andrew wouldn't have thought anything of his cousin's easy smile, but he's grown up, since then, and is paying more attention).

"I scared him," Andrew admits to his hands, Neil a solid weight at his back.

Aaron isn't impressed. "So he just disappeared?"

"Shut the fuck up," Neil chimes in. "You know exactly what happens to shades when they feel threatened."

Andrew hates him. Hates him so much that he feels it echo through him in every breath.

"I know a hell of a lot more than you!" Aaron snaps, cheeks reddening.

He's right, there. The flower spirit on Andrew's shoulder slides down his arm and climbs up Aaron's leg instead, settling somewhere near his elbow. (With the plants around, Andrew can't hide at all).

And then, Andrew forgets how to breathe. The world expands and contracts in the same moment, at once too small and too open. Because Neil asks:

"Would you know, if Riko and Kevin were still linked after - what happened?"

Andrew knows what the answer is. He's so stupid.

"Links dissolve at death," Aaron says anyway, oblivious to Andrew's inner turmoil. "That doesn't change just because they both came back to life."

"Okay!" Nicky interjects, clapping his hands together. "I'm making tea, everyone's gonna sit down, and we'll talk about this properly. _Like adults_." 

(That used to be one of his favourite phrases, when he first started taking care of Andrew and Aaron. Everything had to be done like adults, because Nicky was desperately pretending to have his life together while also trying to get them all to at least talk to eachother without it dissolving into another argument).

All of them know better than to disobey Nicky when he's like this, so they seat themselves, Andrew on one chair with Neil on the floor resting against his legs, and Aaron on the other with Katelyn on his lap.

(Perhaps Andrew should invest in some more chairs, at least to avoid Aaron and Katelyn being disgusting right in front of him).

When everyone has tea (except for Andrew, who resolutely drinks hot chocolate), Neil initiates the conversation; an explanation of what Andrew had feared. Aaron snorts.

"You're so fucking dumb," he comments. In retaliation Andrew stabs him in the thigh with a convenient thorn. Neil holds his hand up, a not so subtle invitation, and Andrew takes it, lets Neil's gentle touch calm the buzzing in his chest. The ache in his lungs.

(As much as it pains him to admit it, Aaron isn't wrong. Andrew lashed out in blind anger, and Kevin's probably halfway to becoming a ghost by now. Anchors are important, for shades. His nails bite into his palm, and he curls in on himself, a little. An anchor is exactly what Kevin will need, when he comes back. If he comes back. Andrew will pay, for this mistake).

"Twice," he mutters. Aaron sighs. Neil's grip tightens, just enough to remind Andrew that he's here. The earth curves around the two of them.

"Andrew," Aaron says, in the kind of voice that reminds Andrew of storms. Quiet and heavy and as sharp as a knife. He looks like he wants to say more, mouth hanging slightly open, but he snaps it shut. Looks away. (Andrew understands, anyway).

Maybe if he was better, he wouldn't split himself open so much. Maybe he should stick to plants. (Maybe, maybe, maybe. Andrew bleeds uncertainties).

Nicky is uncharacteristically silent, leaning against a shelf, sipping his tea as he watches them. He leans forward, changing the subject in what Andrew can only assume is a clumsy attempt to avoid talking about Kevin.

"What happened to you two?"

Katelyn shrugs. "The leyline went crazy, last night. My tree got caught in the crossfire."

At least there's something in this mess that Andrew can fix. Trees are relatively easy to heal, especially if he has spirits to help him.

"Looks like Aaron's did, too," Neil says.

"Fuck you! This is -" Aaron stops. Another secret. He glares at Andrew, and the look in his eyes is desperate. Resigned. A secret he wants to keep, for some reason, and Andrew isn't (won't be, can't be) heartless, so he lets it slide. For now.

Nicky sits between them, eyes flashing red. Time stutters, for a moment, and Andrew takes a gulp of hot chocolate. Squeezes Neil's hand too tightly. 

"So something's wrong with the leyline," Nicky says. He looks far too calm; becoming an anchor has changed him.

Leylines. Andrew's sick of leylines. Tired down to his bones. "I forgot Renee didn't say anything," he tells the others. "I think I know some of what happened."

That makes Aaron scowl, clenching his fists. "You couldn't share this earlier?"

"I was distracted by you coming through the circle looking half-dead."

There's a chamomile flower humming, somewhere in the shop. A death song. (A cry for help). Andrew stands, nudging Neil out of the way, and follows the sound until he finds her, wilting. He strokes her stem, feeding her some of his magic. His hands glow blue.

"Last night Riko came to the garden," he says. "Took a peace lily."

The chamomile flower mumbles an apology. He shushes her. 

Nicky gasps, because he's always been more intelligent than he likes to pretend. Katelyn's shocked, too, but Aaron is a little slower. When he does put it together he _explodes_.

"What the fuck!? And the leyline just submitted to him? Isn't - isn't it protected?"

"Ravens claw at wards until they fall," Neil recites dutifully.

"_He's not magic!_"

"Neither are you," Andrew points out. "And you could take down a ward, easily."

Kevin probably could, too, with enough time. Everything Kevin does takes time, even if he tries to argue otherwise. (Mostly Andrew lets him keep his pride, if only because the guilt would eat him alive otherwise, but the others aren't quite so generous).

Outside, the trees are singing. It's the kind of sound that he wants to wrap around his shoulders and bask in the warmth. Neil comes up behind him and rests his chin on top of Andrew's head. Andrew aches, and tries not to think too hard.

"I think we should go home," Neil whispers.

Home is a good word. Tastes like gold on his tongue.

"You okay?"

Neil huffs. "Fine."

A bundle of leaves comes flying at them from Nicky's direction, and when Andrew turns to look, he's pouting.

"Stop being so married!"

Andrew raises an eyebrow. Nicky's married, and a lot more vocal about it than he and Neil have ever been about their relationship. Thinking about it, though, Erik is in Germany at the moment, and Aaron always complains that he and Neil are insufferable when they're apart, so maybe it's not that surprising, that Nicky is like this. Still. Andrew's feeling petty.

So he sticks his tongue out at Nicky, mouth widening into a grin, and leans back, pressing against Neil's chest. Nicky rolls his eyes.

"Just go," he says. "I'll tell Renee about the peace lily."

"Won't she know already?"

"Well if she didn't mention it.."

It's weird for Renee not to know something of such magnitude, since her sight's settled now. But if the leyline's being messed with then any magic around this area will be unpredictable for at least a little while. 

There's a knock on the front door of the shop. Andrew frowns; the closed sign is up, and anyone important would just use the circle. Katelyn, always eager to be helpful, runs to wrestle with the door, waving off the warnings from both Nicky and Aaron.

Whoever it is must be someone they know, because Katelyn's cheerful "Hey! Come on in," rings out.

Jean Moreau stands like a ghost in Andrew's shop, face like thunder. Next to him, shaking and glitching and refusing to look at any of them, is Kevin. (Andrew's heart leaps into his mouth).

"Andrew," Kevin says, so soft he almost doesn't notice it.

Nicky's already springing into action, shoving Aaron and Katelyn back into the storage room. As practical as ever, Neil writes a spell into the floor; from what Andrew can see, it's a message to let everyone know that Kevin is safe. 

Dragging Kevin with him, Jean stalks over to where Andrew is standing. "I don't know what the fuck you did," he hisses, "but fix it."

And then he's whirling around and storming out of the shop, leaving Kevin, still flickering, behind. Andrew grabs hold of his arm, and Kevin jolts at the touch.

"Stop," Andrew says. It pierces the heavy atmosphere, and somehow Kevin stops. He's solid, and here, and relief slams into Andrew's chest. Having friends is so annoying.

There's a small tree spirit sleeping on the windowsill. She wakes slowly, yawning, and latches onto Kevin, bell-like voice chiming away eventhough he can't understand her at all.

(Kevin smiles, tiny and gentle. Lets her climb onto his hand).

"I'm sorry," he says, and Andrew _burns_. He punches Kevin's arm, lightly.

"I fucked up," he admits, his glare daring Kevin to argue. Kevin wisely doesn't.

And it's normally not like this at all, with them. Their friendship has always been weird and awkward and everything in between, but it's never had this kind of tension. This kind of stiff stillness.

Andrew hates it. Twice, now. Twice he's failed in his promise to Kevin, and twice now Kevin has tried to apologise for it.

Neil taps him on the shoulder. "I'll leave you two alone," he murmurs, in that way of his - asking for permission without actually asking. Andrew nods, and Neil goes, heading for the storage room.

In the quiet, Kevin takes a deep, shuddering breath in. "I thought," he starts. Stops. (Andrew waits. He's always waiting).

"I thought you were getting better."

That hurts. It hurts more than anything Andrew's ever known, because he's trying his hardest, and one tiny mistake isn't going to change that.

"I'm not allowed to feel things now?" 

"Not what I meant."

Andrew's bones itch. He could eat the stars, right now. Swallow them whole.

"I thought you were taking your medication," he accuses, instead of letting the pain show. "Seems you've been lying to me."

(And Kevin knows how Andrew feels about liars).

The singing of the trees is getting louder. More dissonant. It sounds like drums, like crashing plates, like high-pitched shrieking. Kevin's panicking, now, and Andrew hates it, so he backs down, like he always does.

He puts his ear to Kevin's chest and listens. A heartbeat, weak but definitely noticeable.

"I'm trying," he whispers. This is progress. This is a step somewhere.

"I know," Kevin whispers back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! hopefully the next one will be out sooner


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